Steve Bartman Is 'Overjoyed' The Cubs Won But Still Just Wants To Be Left Alone

It’s hard to imagine how dense you have to be at this point to still bother Steve Bartman. It’s been 13 years since Moises Alou threw a temper tantrum so big that you forgot Alex Gonzalez choked away the inning, and Bartman has steadfastly refused to be interviewed about anything.

But now that the Cubs have won the World Series, it’s fair to say there’s never a reason to pester Bartman for anything because… what’s that? Oh, we’re still trying to contact just to learn that he won’t be at the victory parade Friday? Tremendous. From USA Today:

“He was just overjoyed that the Cubs won, as all the Cubs fans are,’’ Frank Murtha, a lawyer who has served as Bartman’s spokesman, told USA TODAY Sports on Thursday.

“We don’t intend to crash the parade,’’ Murtha said. “The one thing that Steve and I did talk about was if the Cubs were to win, he did not want to be a distraction to the accomplishments of the players and the organization.’’

Bartman has gotten so many inquiries that he has allowed lawyer Frank Murtha act as his spokesman to tell people he is “overjoyed” his favorite team won it all. Meanwhile, Bill Murray might be convinced he’s on the roster and deserves his own float for the parade and no one seems to mind that distraction from the fact the Cubs won one of the greatest baseball games ever played. Isn’t Bill freaking Murray guzzling champagne in the clubhouse enough for you jackals?

And a sincere question for journalists: Do you think anyone will care if you get Bartman to talk on the record? “I’m happy the Cubs won the World Series.” Dynamite job, Woodard. You cracked the case. You’ve got the story everyone will tweet about for 12 hours then forget. That’s totally worth not respecting 13 years’ worth of wishes from a guy who wants nothing to do with the media.